November 17th, 2012
|05:51 pm - Dream recap before it fades..|
native american / woman from india.. her face reflected in the coffee table, but only the reflection, not anyone really there, but it was real. saw her in an old book, maybe a photo album first. Said to myself "the mind is very powerful.. the experiences of meditation come from the power of the mind, but that doesn't lessen meditation in some way, as the mind has potentials far beyond what we realize."
was about to get on a train, had to use finger-print scanner. was with my mother and others. pressed my thumb to it, and the computer came up saying i had failed tests back in america, on physics, i just didn't get physics apparently. then a moment later i woke up back in my bed (still in dream) and i was naked... as if i had blacked out? my mum came in looking for me, they'd just missed the train waiting for me. i said, i don't know what happened, i blacked out or something, i was abducted(?) or something?
sitting in the garden with my mum, she was topless for some reason.. so was another lady, we are in france.. i was smoking a joint, or trying to, it wasn't smoking right. i asked her if i should sit a bit away from her, because of the smoke.
back to the indian lady.. i was scared at first, i said, don't hurt me, okay. the scrapbook said it was my wife or girlfriend? she had a buddha spot on her forehead, a hindu? was the album of myself in a past life? seeing old pictures of myself? that last sentence is almost a memory, but it's a bit foggy, but the memory fragments most likely point to that being true, that it was a album of my past life, and that was my wife.
out the window, i saw my friend bruno in a car. the car was stopped, in front of the car there was a giant carpet laying over the road. i thought it might be his carpet, (as he used to live downstairs?) i smiled at him from my window, which was on the 1st floor (one above ground).. but he didn't smile back, just looked a little concerned for me perhaps, or something slightly-non-positive emotion. And I thought it was because i was fake-smiling, as i found it difficult to smile.
these paragraphs aren't in correct time-order. i woke up after reading the album, seeing the indian ladies face and contemplating about the power of meditation.
was in a spaceship, had a big electronic map, looking down on the earth.. it was post-apocalypse... saw a spot in england, the land-bridge between england and ireland... zoome into it, and became the characters there on a boat, it was very very old times, like cavemen times or something..
November 16th, 2012
Let's go to sleep,
under the gladly weight of blankets
in the warm, dark fuzz.
"Do you hear the soft blow of trees outside?
I'm imagining I'm a leaf;
it's helping me fall asleep."
She surprises me with innocent wisdom;
truth so infinitely simple
that trees too understand.
"What will you be,
"a leaf, a branch?"
"I will be the ground, the earth
that nourishes the rest."
Let us be still and silent;
let us fall asleep.
November 15th, 2012
Oh....... shit....... the hook of God's fishing rod has got me! And he's reeling me in..... faster now......... okay then... :)
November 4th, 2012
Just as the light of a star is far out-reaching,
the very tips of God's fingers
when I love you.
October 29th, 2012
If you have come here, then here is a treat.
It's 'The Madman', by Khalil Gibran, in pdf format. Nothing written is more beautiful.
What is this all about?
Are you just pushing me to my limit?
Do I need to break,
is that it?
If that's what your doing, then maybe you're right.
I guess I do try to understand everything
and take control of this.
But you're pushing me to the precipice.
You're calling my bluff,
because it's turning out that I really can't do this.
I can't wrap my head around it;
I can't even take a single step on the path.
I'm completely incapable of getting anywhere with this.
Is that the point?
Do you want me to break
and let it go?
But you see, I'm crying now,
I've only felt I've been with myself.
How can I be sure if you'll even be there to catch me
if I let go?
Because I really don't understand,
I suppose if you push me off the edge
and I see the limit
and know there is nowhere left to go,
if it fully dawns on me
that there is nothing at all I could ever do to understand,
then never mind letting go:
there'll be nothing to even hold onto.
you will come.
I've learned now
that madness is really the truth.
Those who have it all together are dreaming.
This next thing I will mention is
the noblest thing:
To step forward blindly.
That is the only step, but
is the noblest thing.
To leap off into the darkness
because only this:
I heard it whispered once
that you were on the other side
and your hands and eyes are more open than any others'
and they can never close.
October 17th, 2012
I tend to sleep through most of the day-light hours,
but every so often
I'll catch a glimpse of the morning through my window,
of the towering, bushy trees
rolling with the wind
in their soothing, silent lullaby.
They teach me
that so much more than lips know how to smile.
October 15th, 2012
I've recently been killed.
It happened very suddenly and out of the blue.
I've tried to pick that me back up
a few times since,
though the effort, like water falling into water,
as soon as it begins,
because I know he's dead now
and I am so thankful for that.
I didn't think I could be shown the way.
I had been there myself,
I had carried my feet carefully down there,
to those first few stones upon the path.
They were warm and pleasing,
though I daren't place my cold and ugly feet
Some people are afraid of monsters
though I have been afraid of the most beautiful things.
and you took my hand
and at first I didn't notice it about you,
but your feet
were warm from the stones.
When you spoke
it wasn't your words that changed me,
it was just
that you spoke
and in your speaking I heard the true voice
that I was afraid
I could not hear.